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More BS News

I was really annoyed last night when the first 10 minutes of the TV news I watch was dedicated to the birth of the latest member of Britain’s royal family. I can’t give you any details because I turned the sound off and got on with cooking dinner for the entire time, but I believe Kate Middleton gave birth to a daughter who is fourth in line for the throne. That’s all I know and it’s more than I actually care about.

Because really, does anyone care? Actually many people do, because it gives them a small bright spot in their pathetic lives where they can live vicariously through the antiquated institution of the royalty. But in the greater scheme of things it really doesn’t matter much. Yesterday all of the New Zealand news sources had royal baby stories everywhere but today there’s almost nothing to be seen.

That’s not too surprising though because what really happened? Some baby was born on the other side of the world. So what? Once you’ve reported that and got some reaction from a bunch of fawning royal admirers what else is there? Look at the New Zealand Herald and even the BBC web site now and there is barely a hint that the royal family even exists, apart from some idle speculation about what the name will be. No doubt this announcement has been delayed to try to spin the excitement out a bit longer.

And there are far more important things going on around the world, after all. Our prime minister’s latest little faux pas, for example, involving his bizarre and disturbing hair fetish. And the controversy around the big boxing match – apparently the greatest of all time. And the status of Tiger Wood’s latest relationship. OK, I’m being a bit sarcastic here because wherever you look there is BS and the royal family is just one of the more malodorous examples.

Our country is involved in a debate about changing the flag which currently reflects strong links with Britain which are probably no longer relevant. But in many ways those links are significant because we still officially have the Queen as our head of state. Sure, it’s a symbolic rather than practical position, but it does exist.

So it seems to me that until we can become a republic and finally abandon the British monarchy we should probably keep our current flag which has the Union Jack in the corner. If we are so lame that we still want to have another country’s hereditary ruler as our head of state then we should also accept our lame and uninspiring flag as well.

Plus there are other factors against changing the flag: first, the prime minister, good old Shonky John (ohh, that’s a nice pony tail) Key wants it changed. Or maybe he just wants a distraction from his party’s poor performance and his own personal blunders. Such a transparent and superficial ruse is sure to inspire resistance amongst the rabble. And second, that horrible baby was just born on the other side of the world. When that happens any sign of disloyalty will not be tolerated by the mindless masses.

So things don’t look good for New Zealand finally growing up and becoming a real, fully independent country in it’s own right. We have a lame and irrelevant head of state, we have a totally uninspiring flag, our national anthem is a joke, our prime minister is a pervert… Hey, but we now have the world’s best league team as well as the best rugby team, so things aren’t all bad!

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