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The ConservaBible

If there are two groups of people who I find really annoying its political conservatives and fundamentalist believers. I don’t mean people who vote for conservative parties and have a few old-fashioned views, or people who think religion has some merit and go to church occasionally, I mean those who take these beliefs really seriously and allow them to control their whole lives as well as trying to push them into others.

So if conservatives are a problem and religious people are a nuisance just imagine what the combination of these two in conservative Christians must be like! Truly hideous! Note that I have switched from religious people in general to Christians here. I don’t mean to pick on them in particular – other fundamentalist religious groups are just as bad and possibly worse – its just that the particular incident I’m reporting this time involves Christians.

So what is this incident? There is a group in the US who publish something called “Conservapedia”. Its an encyclopedia specifically for conservative Christians and it is one of the most dishonest, hate filled and disgusting publications I have ever seen. An encyclopedia is supposed to present facts but this one has about as many as the Museum of Creation, in other words is full of blatant lies and misinformation.

But these conservative religious nutters aren’t happy with spreading their self-serving propaganda through that alone, they now want to produce a version of the Bible which upholds their “ideals”. Apparently they believe the Bible is full of socialist and liberal bias. Obviously this is because of deliberate errors in translation because the original world of God would never have had such terrible stuff included!

If you read this blog you will know I have no real respect for the Bible or for Christianity in general but I would have thought that one of the only good things about it would have been the message of forgiveness and tolerance some people see in the (alleged) message of Jesus. By the way, I say “alleged” here because I doubt whether Jesus even existed and, even if he did, I doubt whether the Bible has much to do with what he said.

These are the ten guidelines they say aren’t satisfied by existing translations: a framework against liberal bias; avoiding unisex, gender inclusive language; not being dumbed down; using powerful new conservative terms to capture better the original intent; combating addiction by using modern terms for it; accept the logic of Hell; express free market parables; exclude later-inserted inauthentic passages; credit open-mindedness of disciples; and prefer conciseness over liberal wordiness.

The problem is the Bible is almost meaningless already (because it has any meaning the person reading it wants to take) so these people will be able to twist it to fit their sick perspective on life and hide the small amount of good content that is actually there.

So this project would allow the conservative crazies to complete their deluded lives by having a warped Bible to read as well as a warped encyclopedia and other sources. Their delusion will be complete because they will be able to live in a little world where even the religious text they use agrees with their sick perspectives on life.

On the other hand anyone who takes sources like Conservapedia seriously and who might be likely to take any notice of their revised Bible are probably already fairly dedicated to that worldview so its unlikely the conservatives will gain a lot of additional support from this project.

So what is the new Bible likely to include? American comedian, Stephen Colbert, made an interesting suggestion when he said: “The Bible says Jesus fed the poor. It should say he fed the rich and let the loaves and fishes trickle down.” That’s a joke but its just the sort of thing we might see in this new version. Oh, and don’t expect to see anything like Matthew 19:24 (And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God) kept in anything like its original form!

Read the Conservapedia and you’ll get an idea of the incredibly dishonest, misleading propaganda these people are prepared to resort to. Fundamentalists have gained a lot of skill over the years at warping the facts, cherry picking evidence, and presenting quotes out of context. It will be interesting to see how they apply these techniques to their own holy book.

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